While it remains an abiding necessity for the church to staunchly defend her truths and go toe to toe with any detractors of the truths she has been vouchsafed with...a line of demarcation must always be respected.
This line distinguishes essentials from non-essentials. We must selectively and perspicaciously choose what hills we are willing to die on or fight for. There are simply certain arguments that do not need to be had and certains debates that we need not engage in. Sometimes we can lapse into talking to much.
Sometimes silence is more effective than argumentation especially against a curmudgeon or self-infatuated 'debater of the ages'. I am reminded of an occassion recorded in Isaiah 36-37. Assyria attacked Israel and an Assyrian officer (the Rabshakeh) instigated a controversy. He was deliberately making effort to "mock the living God." Instead of reacting and retorting to such maledictions "they (Israel's leaders) were silent and answered him not a word for the kings command was, 'do not answer him'. God vindicated their silence by killing 185,000 Assyrians!! Bloated egos are simply not worth the effort of formulating a cogent response or articulating a word at all. In the end their words, actions and demeaner are their own undoing. Sometimes folk just like hearing themselves talk or having an audience to work up into a frenzy. Such persons need to be avoided and ignored, by and large. They can be recognized by their incessant practice of stirring up debate, arguing and running on at the mouth.
Paul also provides us with nuggets of insight germane to talking too much. He advises Timothy to have "nothing to do with irreverent silly myths..." (I Tim. 4:7) and "not to quarrel about words, which does no good, but only ruins the hearers..." because such dribble "spreads like gangrene" (II Tim. 2:14,17). Timothy was to "have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies" because they "breed quarrels" (II Tim. 2:23). We must surmise from this rhetoric that there will be many times that we MUST withdrawal from pointless and inane conversations that do nothing but inflame passions and breed sin. James reminds us that quarrels and fights among us are caused b passion at war within us (James 4:1-2). I have learned from my brief duration as lead pastor that it is simply counterproductive to argue over things that people bring up as concerns that are obviously personal preferences or pet peeves. It is important to listen but not necessary to quibble over.
We must guard against bickering and disruptive quarreling over matters that are 'minors' or non-essentials. Sometimes things are better left unsaid because when those things that should have remained unsaid are vocalized it detracts from more important matters such as the gospel and discipleship. As Albert Mohler has opined, "some churches seem to thrive on controversy, even as some church members and leaders are agents of disunity. This brings shame and reproach on the church, and it DISTRACTS the church from its taks of preaching the gospel and making disciples."
Oftentimes, valuable time is wasted discoursing about things that aren't worth wasting the breath to assert. The problem more often than not is that we have higher opinions of our preferences and interests than we ought to. We then impose them on everyone else and disrupt progress. Instead of dwelling on infinitesimal points and matters it may better serve the church for us to think before we speak instead of broadcasting every fleeting thought we may have or vigorously trying to impose our every thought onto everyone else in an effort to conform everyone to our will. We can learn a lesson from the apostle Paul who conceded that not everyone will think the way he did on a certain lesser matter. (Phil. 3:15-16)
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